ok, i've survived some bad pickup attempts before. like the time that fella tried to woo me with one word. what was it..? oh yea, he'd looked at me and grunted: "boyfriend?"
that was bad, but last night i met the new champion, and crowned him emperor of idiots.
i was at the opening gala for the PuSh festival, drinking and mingling and all in all having a very lovely evening. (even though it was in a cafeteria... who came up with that winning idea??)
at one point i moseyed over to talk to the fabulous DK, who was talking with a coupla guys. turns out i'd met one of them before - a tent supplier for the children's festival. then i met the other guy, who also does crew work. the two guys were leaving, but we had just enough time for new guy to mention some show coming up that he's working on, me to ask if he needs any crew, him to say yes, and me to give him my number. work, yay!
later that evening, i looked at my phone to ascertain exactly how late it had become, and how little sleep i was going to be getting. i was surprised to see that i'd missed 2 phone calls, and received 1 text message from a number i did not know.
guess who:
new guy.
he didn't leave a voice message, but that's ok; the text message was plenty. it read: "at the cat's meow would love to pet your kitty"
(aside for non vancouverites: the cat's meow is a restaurant/lounge on granville island, near the opening gala.)
wha...??? i mean shit man, we'd spoken for perhaps one minute. and it had been entirely about work! there had been no flirting. hell, there hadn't even been any real chitchat or friendliness. just an explanation of the work, and the dictation of contact digits.
pretty impressive, hunh? oh wait, it gets better: he's married. at least this one wore a ring. man, i have a knack for attracting the real winners, eh.
so there you have it, the new "all-time worst pick-up line i've ever be subjected to."
(shakin my head)
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